I Don't Get Paid Enough For This: Firefighters Help Man Remove His Peenor From A Toaster

October 8, 2013

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Because what man hasn't wanted to know what a spring-loaded toast ejector feels like on their pecker?

Because some men can't resist the smell of hot bread, a pervert in London called the Fire Brigade to help remove his pecker from the toaster he'd gotten it stuck in. Not gonna lie, I would have continued attempting a self-rescue for at least three days before getting the fire department involved. Did you even try prying it out with a fork first? No word if the toaster was plugged in while he was making sweet breakfast with it, but in my mind it was, plus on the darkest toast setting. When reached for phone comment, the man's girlfriend began moaning with what I believe was the sound of an electric mixer in the background.

Thanks to Terry and Brad, who both know their way around a kitchen sexually and are the neighbors you should never ask to borrow eggs or sugar from.

  • Jeremy Tilton

    Toasters are so hot

  • Closet Nerd

    "You're not sleeping with it, are you Ray?"

  • Michael

    Well, if I were a 'first responder' I admit I would be tempted to turn the setting to "Light", plug the device into the wall socket and wait for the brave little toaster to, ahem, eject the problem digit.

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