Choo Choo!: The Mini Rideable Train Of Your Dreams

October 21, 2013


Whoa, bro -- socks with sandals and no conductor's hat?

This is the $23,000 Amusement Park Ride-On Railroad available from Hammacher Schlemmer (who else?). It's the 1:8 scale rideable train of your dreams. Could you imagine waking up Christmas morning to see one of these in your backyard? I would shit my pajamas AND the ones my mom makes me put on after.

Based on the classic narrow-gauge 2-6-0 Baldwin Mogul from the late 19th century, this backyard model is powered by four 250-watt, 24-volt DC motors that generate enough power to haul up to 1,600 lbs. at a 3% grade. The railroad includes 228' of 7 1/2"-gauge track, configured to create a 60' x 80' oval. An adult driver sits atop the 18"-high tender, controlling the locomotive's speed, forward/reverse throttle, and regenerative anti-lock brakes while two passengers sit in the 65" L x 17" W gondola car in front of a trailing caboose. The locomotive has an integrated 50-watt sound system that provides realistic, deep "chuff" and "puff" sounds that synchronize with the train's speed, accompanied by whistle and bell sounds, and smoke and steam emanating from the smokestack.

Not gonna lie, that 60' x 80' oval track isn't gonna cut it for me. If this thing is going to circle the perimeter of my property I'm going to need that cut to an oval no larger than 20' x 25'. My yard is so small the train engine will have to have its front two wheels on the back of the caboose like they're humping. Which they might be. Get it, Thomas the Tank Engine!

Thanks to Rhubarb, who's my brother and dad's favorite kind of pie.

  • dingusthemonique

    I had a rideable train as a kid in the 80's. It cost my parents $200 and me being potty trained. It had tracks you could lay down anywhere in the house and ran on a rechargeable battery. What idiot would spend $23,000 on something that could be purchased for $200 in 1986? You will just get tired of it in a month and then where will you be?

  • dingusthemonique

    Unless you use it to move ore and child workers in and out of a mine then I completely understand and a solid business investment for sure.

  • HoneyBeeBoo

    They see me rolling.......

  • Tom327Cat

    I shall just leave this here.

  • Ida

    My Uncle Eli got green Chevrolet Express Van by working part time at home... have a peek here>.............. w­w­w.J­a­m­1­0.c­o­m


    My best friend's dad has spent the last 5-6 years building a small train ride through his entire yard, he has about 300ft of tracks currently and built everything by hand.
    It's especially fun when we have parties.

  • Mr. K

    I feel like they might be pandering to the wrong demographic. This needs to be in every frat house's back yard, like yesterday.

    "BROS!! Tell Shit-Stain-Steve that we're running train on those Phi-Delta-Kai bitches this weekend! Choo-Choo!!"

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