Bringing A Knife To A Gunfight: Convenience Store Clerk Chases Away Gun-Toting Robber With A Machete

October 8, 2013


PROTIP: Get the date fixed on your security camera, this isn't your grandma's VCR.

This is the security camera footage from a convenience store in Brentwood, New York featuring a masked robber waving a gun in the attendant's face and demanding all the money. Remember the first thing they teach you in Gunfights 101? "Never bring a knife to one." Well apparently this clerk was absent that day or considers his machete more of a sword than a knife, because he unsheathes that f***er, and, after slapping it on the counter once for good measure, chases dude out of the store and across an empty parking lot. Personally, if that were me I would have thrown the machete at him and lodged it perfectly in his back the way you see in movies. Then, as he's laying there dying, I'd pull his mask off to reveal my own face and realize this has all been a dream because there's no way in hell I'm doing anything but shitting my pants somebody is pointing a gun at me.

Keep going for the video, including the chase across the parking lot.

Thanks to Dan and Side Effect, who don't even need machetes, they would have just chased him down karate chopping.

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