Oh Goody: A Haunted House You Walk Through Naked

September 23, 2013


Because there's nothing more terrifying than getting scared with your loose pecker flopping around, Pennsylvania's "premier haunted scream park" Shocktoberfest will be offering nude tours of its haunted house this fall. Obviously, I will be attending every showing with a sock over my johnson to avoid scaring the performers.

It's called The Naked and Scared Challenge. The haunted house still has the usual array of people jumping out to scare you . . . only now you're facing them without any clothes on.

The people behind the haunted house say you don't have to worry about a bunch of people staring at you naked . . . since it's completely dark in the haunted house and only people who are allowed in there with you are also naked as a jay bird. So you're running though the house with a bunch of other naked people you don't know in the dark... kinky.

The haunted house will open in a week. Nude tours will be after the park closes at midnight, but if you think nude is not the right option for you, they will let you walk through with your underwear on for the "prude" option earlier in the night. A fully clothed option is always available during normal business hours as well... STIFF security will be enabled so there won't be any funny business during the nude tour.

Sounds like a great time! One male visitor who was visibly shaken after the experience had this to say, "My penis literally grew arms and crawled back inside me when I heard the chainsaws." Heck yeah, surprise mutant penis! But can it do chin-ups with your belly button?

Thanks to NinjaMuffin, who agrees there should be a haunted house you experience ON FIRE.

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