iPhone 5S's Fingerprint Scanner Also Works For Nipples

September 24, 2013


Honey, it finally happened -- I caught a man nursing his iPhone at the office today.

Seen here in what appears to be the middle of a steamy sexting session, a man uses his nipple to unlock the iPhone 5S's fingerprint scanner. That's because, just like fingerprints, nipples are unique -- like snowflakes. And if you're a witch, just as cold. When my nips get cold they shrivel up to the size of dimes. That's when I like them the best. Otherwise they're the size of metal garbage can lids but make way crappier shields in a snowball fight.

Keep going for the video.

Thanks to fat piggie, who's really hoping snouts will work too.

  • Rob in Katy

    Well, I guess for most of us, we don't leave nipple prints everywhere... Take that NSA!

  • Steak

    I prefer this (NSFW) version : http://vimeo.com/75218401

  • Rob in Katy

    Couldn't the girl have done the demo herself, then we wouldn't have had to watch those hairy french knuckles - which ruined everything, my life sucks now.

  • Steak

    Sorry :D

  • PastMidnight

    I can't stop laughing xD

  • jeffrey jakubowski

    Unless it works on the veins on my sack, I don't really care

  • Mrs. Me

    OMG! Extra points to the Geekologist for the "Sneakers" reference. You are on FIRE!!!

  • Proteon

    This video is equally amusing to the people who sold it to him

  • Guest

    breast feeding information to one's phone...oh that's not weird

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