200K People Applied To Go Die On Mars In 1-Way Mission

September 11, 2013


202,586 people from 140 countries applied to take a one-way trip to the Mars as part of Mars One's manned missions to the red planet beginning in 2023. "F*** earth", I imagine them all saying as they licked the envelopes containing their applications, "I hate my neighbors."

The first of four selection rounds ended August 31. Now, the Mars One selection committee will spend the next several months narrowing down the applicants. There are even plans to launch a reality TV show to choose the final candidates. The goal is for 24 to 40 people to begin a seven-year training program in 2015. Then, working with the private space flight company SpaceX, Mars One hopes to send the prospective Martian settlers to the red planet in teams of four, beginning in 2023.

You know, the fact that over 200,000 people applied to leave earth and go die on another planet actually helped RESTORE my waning faith in humanity that made me decide to apply to the program in the first place. Weird how these things work out. That said, if I'm not chosen, I'm totally going to knock out one of the astronauts that did make the cut, steal their spacesuit, and board the ship myself. I'm pretty sure I saw that in a James Bond movie.

Me: GW to launch control, where's the beverage cart?
Launch Control: GW who?
Me: Nevermind, I found it. Say, are these airplane bottles supposed to last the whole trip, because I drink a lot.
Launch Control: There isn't any alcohol on the ship, sir. Those are travel-sized shampoo bottles.
Me: *blowing soap bubbles* ABORT, ABORT.

Thanks to Jeremey, who didn't apply himself but only because he wants to claim earth for himself once everybody else leaves. I call the moon!

  • ProdigyJX

    This would have been awesome! oh well at least we could probably skype to the Mars folk or something.

  • Frédéric Purenne

    HELL YEAH!!! I'm one of them!

  • zxcvb

    Bet every one of them is white. White people have turned into lemmings.

  • Reba

    They damn well better be white. White people are responsible for virtually every advance that has been made in space exploration technology. A colony on Mars should respect whites' contributions, rather than deliberately inserting a bunch of brown people for the sake of diversity.

  • mike4ty4

    I can't believe that you said something so overtly, blatantly racist. You want humanity's cosmic diaspora to be what... WHITE people?! Not to accurately reflect our diversity? So when we finally meet E.T. he'll think "Human = White"?

    While it may be true that a lot of inventions in the present time were made by European people, Europeans didn't get there without what others did, and now science is a global endeavor, it's not just limited to "White Europeans" (and what we call "science" really required the Islamic world to develop!). India, China, Japan are all making big progress. China is also helping out Africa to blossom, actually helping as opposed to being the destructive colonialist White Europe was.

    Oh yeah, and don't forget that while "white people" may have improved upon it, the rocket was first invented by the Asian man!

    "Brown" (= THE MAJORITY OF HUMANKIND!) people can do things too. They're human beings just like white people are! Why don't you think the MAJORITY of humankind should be represented on there, just the really ethnic-looking ones? (By that I mean White people! Think about it!)

    You sound like a Stormfront racist. I can't believe you got an upvote.

  • kristopher

    Hopefully there are no face huggers hiding in that giant face temple...

  • setheaster

    And every last one of them is a Dr. Who fan.

  • lmern

    Im devastated that I somehow missed the deadline for application...

  • Guest

    I'll take a short cut and use my imagination to visit Mars and skip the boring trip.


  • AmselZephlyn

    This has to be a joke, right? There's absolutely no way that a colony of humans could survive on Mars.

  • Closet Nerd

    Haven't you ever seen that documentary titled, "Red Planet" with Val Kilmer and Tom Sizemore... duh

  • disqus_k2QxOV9H7Z

    Why not? Terraform Mars seems impractical but make small colonies should be possible. But I think they should go for the Moon first. Not only it is more usefull but also is much closer.

  • Rob in Katy

    Maybe a less expensive way to clean out the gene pool would be something to look into?

  • Jason Moreton

    I wonder who will be first to develop claustrophobia and want to open a airlock.

  • Guest

    or, eventually use their socks to perform an fun sock puppet show.
    -ref Rocketman

  • Jason Moreton


  • JJtoob

    Aww never heard of this until now that we are past the deadline to apply...

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