Wait, Where'd It Go?: Scientists Create Atom Of Possible New Periodic Table Element 115 For One Second

August 28, 2013


Because nobody's ever happy with the way things are now, scientists are hard at work trying to create new elements. God willing, these new elements will provide the key to powering the jetpacks of tomorrow so we can all say goodbye to land-based travel and say hello to crashing into each other at 200MPH in the sky the same way eagles mate.

Swedish scientists have confirmed the existence of a new super-heavy element, temporarily dubbed ununpentium for its position at the 115th spot on the periodic table. First proposed by Russian scientists back in 2004, the new element was created by a Swedish team from Lund University. They fired a beam of calcium, which has 20 protons, into a piece of americium, which has 95 protons. For an entire second, ununpentium burst into existence, composed of 115 protons.

As to why this is important, the Christian Science Monitor writes that "scientists hope that by creating heavier and heavier elements, they will find a theoretical 'island of stability,' an undiscovered region in the periodic table where stable super-heavy elements with as yet unimagined practical uses might exist."

Heck yeah, 'Island of Stability' -- I'd live there. "It's not a real island, GW." I'm imagining a tropical resort with palm trees and white sand beaches. "IT'S NOT A REAL ISLAND." Man, and if it had a tiki bar that served drinks out of coconuts and pineapples too, that would be awesome. "FOR THE LAST TIME--" Oh cabana boy, it's time for my suntan lotioning!

Thanks to tuqueque and LupusYonderboy, who agree if it does officially make it on the periodic table, the should call it Iron Maiden in honor of some real heavy metal.

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