Needle To The Vein: Spray-On Caffeine Energy

August 26, 2013


So many more cat videos to watch. NEED ENERGY.

Caffeine: it's a drug. It's a drug and people want it inside them. Most people drink coffee or energy drinks, some people use caffeinated soap in the shower, and other people wake and bake because they don't give a shit about caffeine. Sprayable Energy is a caffeine spray that's slowly absorbed into your body, allowing for a longer, less intense energy boost than pounding two double espressos and jumping through a Starbucks window.

"After months of research, we discovered we could increase caffeine's solubility five-fold by using a simple derivative of a naturally produced amino acid, tyrosine. Thus, our patent-pending technology opens up a whole new realm of possibilities when it comes to energizing as effectively as possible without all the drawbacks and side effects."

In terms of usage, on the company's campaign page suggests that for one dose, the user spray the product twice on each side of the neck, with a suggested spray limit of 24 times per day. Oddly, on the company's official website, the advice is different, suggesting that a user can "spray up to five times within four hours," but "no more than 20 times total daily."

Hey, whatever works. Of course it's only a matter of time before somebody OD's from spraying an entire bottle on their nuts hoping for a 14-hour erection. COME ON, THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS. You gotta spray the shaft!

Hit the jump for a promotional video.

Thanks to Luis, who splashes his face with cold water whenever he needs a pick-me-up. Me? I punch myself in the legs right above the knees as hard as I can till I can't feel them anymore.

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