Lies: Scientists Claim Development Of Hangoverless Beer

August 23, 2013


A group of scientists in Australia claim they've developed a beer that helps prevent hangovers by adding electrolytes (the little lightning bolts found in Gatorade), which promote hydration and help prevent your pee from being the color of rust the next morning.

The new creation provides a third more hydration than a normal beer, and this increased fluid retention should also help prevent hangovers the following day. The scientists did have to reduce some of the beer's alcohol content to about 2.3% (versus 4.8% alcohol) for best results, but they report the additional ingredients do not affect its taste.

Wait -- you had to reduce the beer's alcohol content BY MORE THAN HALF? 2.3% alcohol isn't even beer anymore! I'm pretty sure pet fish could survive in that. Call me when you develop an 8% beer that doesn't give me a hangover. Granted I still won't answer, but when you call back to tell me you've develop RYE BOURBON that doesn't give me a hangover I'll rip my f***ing shirt off and swing it around over my head before saying you must have the wrong number.

Thanks to Expunged, HT and Andy, who agree the real key to hangover prevention is hair-of-the-dogging-it the next morning. Boy, don't I know.

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