Lies: Scientists Claim Development Of Hangoverless Beer

August 23, 2013


A group of scientists in Australia claim they've developed a beer that helps prevent hangovers by adding electrolytes (the little lightning bolts found in Gatorade), which promote hydration and help prevent your pee from being the color of rust the next morning.

The new creation provides a third more hydration than a normal beer, and this increased fluid retention should also help prevent hangovers the following day. The scientists did have to reduce some of the beer's alcohol content to about 2.3% (versus 4.8% alcohol) for best results, but they report the additional ingredients do not affect its taste.

Wait -- you had to reduce the beer's alcohol content BY MORE THAN HALF? 2.3% alcohol isn't even beer anymore! I'm pretty sure pet fish could survive in that. Call me when you develop an 8% beer that doesn't give me a hangover. Granted I still won't answer, but when you call back to tell me you've develop RYE BOURBON that doesn't give me a hangover I'll rip my f***ing shirt off and swing it around over my head before saying you must have the wrong number.

Thanks to Expunged, HT and Andy, who agree the real key to hangover prevention is hair-of-the-dogging-it the next morning. Boy, don't I know.

  • John Whatmeworry

    Why add electrolytes at all? A person wont be able to drink 2.3% beer for long. They'll be full long before they need a hangover remedy.

  • da1nonlysage

    Drink less alcohol and have a lesser hangover?

    Why didn't anyone think of this before?


  • ODwanKenObi

    Here's a better solution. DRINK MORE WATER before passing out to rehydrate.

  • John Whatmeworry

    It works, but the problem is that depending on how much you've drank that night the kidneys don't function as well, so most of the water get's retained in your tissues, and you wake up with a really bloated face.

  • ODwanKenObi

    If your kidneys are not functioning well, you may have worse problems than just a hangover.

  • FancyTrousers

    There's alcohol in Brawndo now?

  • catallergy

    it's what plants crave

  • Jeremy Tilton

    That's Busch League.

  • Quil

    So basically you're telling me I'll just have to drink more of it? I'll stick to chasing my whiskey with mouthwash, thank you very much.

  • knurd

    Australia should be ashamed.

  • GreyMatter

    Ashamed of what? Common sense is that it's the scientists that should be ashamed not the entire population.

  • knurd

    That's right. When your football team loses then you shouldn't feel sad - only the players should.

  • Guest

    Also prevents you from getting drunk. Good job science.

  • ChrisBailey

    If you want to work at your home and make some money then you have to read this... Seemore--------------------...

    Who would want to drink such a beer... I know i wouldn't

  • Turbosloth

    2.3% So you developed the lightest light beer on the planet, congratulations.

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