BREAKING: Double Stuf OREOS Really Only 1.86x Stuffed

August 21, 2013


According to a recent experiment conducted by high school math teacher Dan Anderson and his students (arguably the most trustworthy kind of experiment), Double Stuf Oreos are actually only 1.86x stuffed, and Mega Stufs 2.68x stuffed. I don't really have a problem with the Mega Stufs because 'mega' isn't a quantifiable term, BUT IF THE PACKAGE SAYS DOUBLE STUF I EXPECT DOUBLE THE F***ING STUF. I've honestly never felt so betrayed in my life and I once walked in on a girlfriend having sex with my best friend IN FRONT OF A CAMERA CREW. There was a guy holding a boom mic!

The students weighed 10 of each type of sandwich cookie -- original, Double and Mega. They also weighed the wafers separately, without the creme

Subtract the weight of the wafer from the total weight of the cookie, and you get the stuff!

"We were very surprised," Anderson said.

And it apparently would be a surprise to the folks at Oreo too.

"While I'm not familiar with what was done in the classroom setting, I can confirm for you that our recipe for the Oreo Double Stuf cookie has double the stuff, or creme filling, when compared with our base, or original Oreo cookie," said Oreo spokeswoman Kimberly Fontes.

In Oreo's defense, 10 cookies is a pretty poor sample size. Not that I should even be defending the brand considering THEY DISCONTINUED THOSE DOUBLE STUF COOL MINT CREME OREOS. Damn I miss those things. I like, dream about them. And in my dreams they're the nipples of a lover and I'm the happiest boy in the world.

Thanks to E V I L A R E S, who's so evil he's known about this for years and kept it secret.

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