Mexico Passes U.S. As Fattest Country In N. Hemisphere

July 10, 2013


Because America's finding it harder and harder to stay on top of anything, Mexico has officially passed the United States as the obese-est country in the northern hemisphere. I know, I know -- apparently this whole bacon fiasco was for naught.

With a 32.8 percent adult obesity rate, Mexico just inches past the 31.8 percent obesity rate in the United States, according to a study released last month by the United Nations Food and Agricultural Organization.

That makes Mexico the most obese country in the hemisphere and one of the fattest countries on the planet.

Barry Popkin [surprisingly no relation to Mary Poppins], an obesity expert at the University of North Carolina, attributes much of the spike in Mexican obesity to increased consumption of cheap sugary drinks and mass-marketed snack foods (the type of things that got Americans fat as well), which have displaced home-cooked meals, along with fresh fruits and vegetables.

It's a fact folks: cheap sugary drinks and fatty snack foods pack on the pounds. Just ask my gut. "COOKIES AND SODA ME, STAT." But we had a cake for lunch! "Chips Ahoy or I'll tell your intestines to shit on the subway again." See? This is what I have to live with. "Not for much longer." HOHO -- GOOD ONE, HEART.

Thanks to gordo (good one!), Jeremy, strawstack and Caroline, who convinced me to hit up an all-you-can-eat buffet with them twice a day for a year and then we're gonna start our own country and take the title away from Mexico.

  • Brant_Alan

    Now US has nothing they're best at. Jeeez.

  • Soylent Green Is People

    Of course they're the fattest. You can't have access to that much goddamn weed and NOT constantly have the munchies.

  • Chris

    Have a look at the WHO statistics on Obesity and you'll see a number of Middle Eastern countries are ranked well above Mexico. Kuwait for example is at 42.8 percent. I guess they'd better rename the country to Kuweight. Oh dear, I'm sorry for that.

  • Doug Eldridge

    Oh I'm sorry Mexico, did you run out of headless corpses to investigate? No? Then STFU.

  • Great. So just taking our jobs isn't enough, they have to take the one thing we're good too? Fucking posers.

  • drakabaran

    Lets celebrate with a big dose of coca cola, i already got my insuline shots ready

  • Meithan

    I am Mexican and all I want to say is: thanks so much for this award, we worked hard to get it and it was really a team effort, and we wouldn't have made it without Coca-Cola and our other American friends.

  • Fercho

    LOL! It can't be any more telling xD (I also am mexican and feel VERY ashamed for news like these).

    Oh, and all of a sudden, american people feel thinner than ever.

  • Marv Riley

    So is fattening them up the way the US is going to deal with border patrolling?!

  • David Gabel

    yep. if they're too fat then they won't be able to make it across without a heart attack.

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