Dead Man Rises From Coffin, Mourners Flee Funeral

May 16, 2013


Note: Picture relatively unrelated but still from one of the best games ever made.

Funeral goers in Zimbabwe were sent scattering after a man believed to be dead for a day started moving around in his coffin. Turns out he wasn't dead after all, just MOSTLY dead. *cue Miracle Max making one of those chocolate-covered revival balls*

Brighton Dama Zanthe, 34, was being laid to rest inside a coffin last Monday after he apparently died at his home following a long illness.

But the next day Mr Zanthe's friends and relatives scattered in disbelief when he started moving as they filed past to say their emotional goodbyes.

'At first I could not believe my eyes but later realised that there was indeed some movements on the body as other mourners retreated in disbelief.'

The Herald, which is owned by Zimbabwe's government, reported that Mr Zanthe spent two days on life support after being rushed to the Gweru Provincial Hospital following the incident.

He was discharged last week and has since returned home.

This reminds me of an old joke about asking a guy what he hopes people say about him at his funeral. And the dude says he'd really like somebody to say, "Look, he's moving!" You know, because then he wouldn't really be dead. Me? I already know what I want someone to say at my funeral: Of all the souls I've encountered in my travels, his was the most...human. "You stole that from Spock's funeral scene in Star Trek: The Wrath of Khan!" What? That shit doesn't happen till 2285, Captain Kirk stole it from me.

Thanks to Rev Dr Dom, who informed me he wants his casket to be filled with ice-cold beer and everybody has to chug one when they come by for the viewing.

  • Guest

    Goodbye...oh! and hello!

  • Fumus

    Monkey Island?

  • Jon Merker

    So apparently there are no coroners in Zimbabwe?

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