Man Steals Tractor Trailer, Crashes It, Blames Zombies

April 11, 2013


In solid alibi news, 19-year old Jerimiah Hartline stole a tractor trailer in California last Saturday, then sped it down a highway before crashing it on its side, causing several other accidents. And all because zombies were chasing him. You laugh now, but in the future that'll be admissible in court.

He was arrested at the crash scene and appeared to be in an altered state, claiming he was being chased by zombies," California Highway Patrol officer Nathan Baer told Patch on Monday.

He allegedly took off down Interstate 15, sideswiping several vehicles and prompting multiple crashes that injured seven people, according to the Union-Times. He's suspected of striking two more cars before the semi jackknifed, blocking all four lanes of traffic.

Hartline then fled the vehicle and tried to steal a van, but the van's driver detained him until police arrived, cops said.

Drugs: sometimes they make you do crazy, dangerous shit. And other times they make you watch every episode of Game of Thrones back-to-back, only getting up twice to grab snacks and pee on the toilet seat. That was a great day for me.

Thanks to Tallon, who tried to blame zombies for tearing his clothes off when he was arrested for running around the liquor store naked. Been there, done that, bro -- it doesn't work.

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