THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE: A Pictorial Of Two Squirrels Caught In An Epic Battle Over The Same Peanut

February 12, 2013


Because why work for your own nut when you can steal somebody else's, these are six pictures captured by photographer Andre Morozov documenting the battle between two squirrels over the same peanut in Ontario's Royal Botanical Garden. Who wins? SPOILER: The greyish-brown one. Personally, I couldn't have sat there and watched these little guys go at it without stopping them. This reminds me of that story from vacation bible school about how King Solomon told those two ladies who were both claiming that a baby was theirs that he would just cut the baby in half and they could each have a piece then the one lady was all "No no no, I'd rather the baby live", thus revealing herself as the true, caring mother. It's kind of terrifying how the other lady was willing to accept half a baby. Those are like, some pretty piss-poor maternal instincts (not to mention the fact she was trying to steal the other lady's baby in the first place because she rolled over and smothered her own in her sleep!). Still, I would have tried working something similar with these squirrels. I'd be all, "Now listen squirrels: what if I cut the nut...IN HALF?!" Then one would bite me and I'd chase them both up trees and eat the peanut myself. IT DIDN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW.

Thanks to lilco, who agrees that caring means sharing. Or is it sharing means caring? Friendship -- that's the real lesson here.

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