Mississippi Drafts Bill To Ban Human-Animal Hybrids

February 7, 2013


Because Mississippi lawmakers are concerned that their residents may try to produce animal-human hybrids (and rightfully so -- probably the natural way too), Republican William Tracy Arnold of Booneville (who undoubtedly has a horse-child he doesn't want to talk about) has drafted a bill banning animal-human hybrids and hitting those who disregard the law with a fine. Please, like your piddly fine is going to stop me from creating a race of dino-people. I DO WHAT I WANT.

What's a human-animal hybrid, you ask? HB 819, The Protection of the Human Person Act, defines it as any of these things:

Embryos that contain human and nonhuman cells, nuclei or chromosomes.
Embryos that were created by fertilizing a human egg with animal sperm, or vice versa.
A nonhuman life form "engineered" with a human brain.

Unfortunately, after reading through the piece of legislature myself (which you can download HERE), it's really just an anti-abortion bill with a few unusual caveats thrown in. I guess Mississippi isn't as serious about animal-human hybrids as I thought. *stands up, repositions eggs in nest, sits back down* Soon, my pretties, soon we march...on the capital!

Thanks to John, who's been developing a race of mole-people to survive the inevitable nuclear apocalypse.

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