Coke Kills: Woman Dies From Too Much Coca-Cola

February 14, 2013

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Hell yeah, Mexican Coke! I'm gonna get one of you with lunch.

31-year old New Zealander Natasha Harris died in 2010, and this week the coroner released his report, citing Natasha's two gallon/day Coca-Cola habit as a contributing factor to her death. Wait -- TWO GALLONS A DAY? If I drank that much soda I wouldn't even need a car, I'd just f***ing fly everywhere.

[Coroner David] Crerar calculated that Harris' intake of Coca-Cola meant that she ingested the equivalent of two pounds of sugar and 970 milligrams of caffeine per day, according to Television New Zealand. Her family claims Harris suffered from withdrawal symptoms when she didn't have access to her beverage of choice.


Harris' consumption of sugar and caffeine had serious effects on her health. In his finding, Crerar said that Harris had developed cardiac arrhythmia because of her cola habit.

That's sad. It just goes to show you -- addiction kills. It doesn't have to be hard stuff like crack or heroin or coffee enemas. You can just be on a seemingly harmless 2-gallons/day cola habit and next thing you know, you're dead. "GW? There's nothing seemingly harmless about two gallons of soda a day." No? Well what if I told you I know a guy who eats a whole Costco size container of Pixy Stix everyday? "I'd suggest he go to the doctor." And what if this stranger doesn't have health insurance? "We're talking about you, aren't we?" Me? Noooooo, it's my friend, uh, JW. "Friend, LOL." You saw through that, huh? But seriously I can hear my heartbeat and I have my headphones all the way up.

Thanks to Jason, who used to be addicted to Sunny D until his mom stopped buying it. That's when his friends stopped coming over too.

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