You're Nuts: Plan To Kidnap A Moon For Our Moon

January 3, 2013


Scientists at the Keck Institute for Space Studies are cooking up a plan to capture an asteroid and place it in our moon's orbit so it can have a little satellite of its own. Cute! Basically the idea is to send a specially designed spacecraft to go bag a tiny asteroid (like, 20-feet wide tiny), then drag it back to the moon. Think 'dragging my @$$hole roommate out into the street in a sleeping bag' but way more complicated.

A captive asteroid would be a lot easier to pick apart and study, not to mention land on. It wouldn't be astronomically expensive, either: at $2.6 billion, the plan's cost lands in the same ballpark as the Curiosity rover. All this could happen sometime in the 2020s, according to the plan.

I'm all for it, I just wish the plan was a little more aggressive. A 20-foot asteroid? That's barely big enough for me to plant a flag on. I say we go for something much larger. After all, if these are my tax dollars at work, I want something I can be proud of. That way, in the future when my grandson and I are out looking at the moon through a telescope I can say, "You see that asteroid there? I paid for that shit. But enough about space, you remind me a lot of your father. Get it? Because he was an accident and I bet you were too! *slapping knee* Now go fetch me a beer."

Photo Credit

Thanks to Cam, who agrees we should at least give ourselves one more moon before we start giving moons moons.

  • puny parrot

    oh just $2.6 billion? Well, let me get my wallet.

  • Kevin

    No we should totally experiment with dragging an asteroid toward Earth. What could go wrong?

  • Tina Furlett

    How on earth would a 20 foot asteroid be easy to land on?!?

  • Kevin


  • superforsyth

    It's only $2.6 billion - hey, the money the government is stealing from my payroll check starting this year has to go SOMEWHERE!

  • Guest

    To a giant floating dingle berry, yeah that's a great use of money. ;D

  • Idlethoughts

    You know after reading the explanation and weighing the costs and risks, this honestly isn't a horrible idea provided we have the technology to pull it off.

  • That will be great when it all goes tits up and the asteroid plummets into the Earth, and takes out some unsuspecting town.

  • Guest

    A fitting name could be "dingle berry" since that. Is how it might appear on a full moon.

  • The Secretary

    They want to put a mini moon around the moon?

    Pft. What a waste of money.

    Give me the Death Star first.

  • JJtoob

    Death Star is more expensive.

  • The Secretary

    But much cooler.

    Waste money on something lame or something cool?

    Besides, we can strike fear into our enemies for once.

  • JJtoob

    Yeah, but the Death Star will probably also take longer. Also, I'm not sure who "we" are, but I'm sure we strike enough fear into our enemies lol.

  • $18922249

    Dear Geekologie,

    I know that as late I have been absent, and for this I am deeply sorry. However, I found Reddit. I know it's not fair to compare the two, as they are different formats altogether, and GW is kind enough to write original articles for 12k+ posts. However, if Geekologie is like internet marijuana, Reddit is black tar heroin. I can't stop. I'm sorry.

    Thanks for all of the great times. I'll be around.

    Best wishes,


  • Kevin

    Don't worry GW. I still come for the jokes.

  • Proteon

    Nature. Best when fucked with. What could go wrong?

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    I dunno...something on the line of a 20 foot asteroid falling out of the moon's orbit and slamming into Earth.

  • a twenty foot asteroid would burn up in the atmosphere

  • Kevin

    Not if it's made out of diamonds, which I'm sure they would totally grab if they found one. "Oh hey just grab any old asteroid, that's fine. Jk, diamonds. GET THE MONEY."

  • Captain Matticus, LP Inc.

    Yo Dawg! We put a moon around your moon so you can orbit while you orbit!

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