TO THE BUFFET: Weight-Loss Device Pumps 30% Of Your Stomach's Contents Out 20 Minutes After Every Meal

January 11, 2013

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For people who struggle with overeating, Segway inventor Dean Kamen and a group of doctors have developed a pump that can evacuate 30% of the food in a person's stomach 20-minutes after they eat a meal so they don't digest all those extra calories. It sounds kind of gross, but so does getting stuck in your couch. And for the record, I'm not here to judge overeaters. We all have our demons, and if yours happens to be seconds, well, that's between you and your gut. But please, no tight-fitting clothing.

Basically, it's a feeding tube in reverse. Instead of pumping life-sustaining nutrients into the stomachs of people unable to eat, the AspireAssist Aspiration Therapy System pumps food out of people who have no problem eating. Patients have a tube inserted into their stomachs then threaded out through an incision in the abdomen and capped with a poker chip-sized "Skin Port" valve. (For more detail, if you so dare, watch the video below.) Twenty minutes after eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the patient attaches a handheld device to the Skin Port and empties 30 percent of the contents of his or her stomach into the toilet.


Twenty minutes is enough time for your brain to be convinced that you are full, but not enough time for your stomach to digest the food, the inventors say, and that means 30 percent of the calories from your meal magically disappear.

Well, technically those calories don't just "magically disappear". You have to watch them pumped out as a slurry into the toilet through a hole in your belly. And that, my friends, is no magic act I'd pay to watch (sawing a woman in half is still a go).

Hit the jump for a video demo of the technology in action.

Thanks to Phillybart, who's busy pumping cheesesteaks out of himself even as we speak.

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