This Will End Badly: $35 Alcohol Vaporizer Going On Sale

January 15, 2013


The Vaportini is a $35 device used to vaporize alcohol, after which it can be inhaled into the lungs and the effects of intoxication felt much more quickly than traditional oral or buttchugging methods. Obviously, lawmakers are terrified a bunch of kids are going to inhale themselves to death with these things, and rightfully so, because kids are stupid and peer pressure is strong.

Normally, when a drink is taken, alcohol is absorbed 10 percent through the stomach and 85 percent in the small intestine.

The presence of food slows this process further, but when alcohol is inhaled, however, alcohol enters the lungs and goes directly into the bloodstream, causing a much more rapid and stronger buzz.

The danger of vaporized alcohol entering the bloodstream directly as opposed to the digestive system means that protective impulses - such as vomiting - are bypassed.

In fact, it is the swift infusion of alcohol to the brain that makes inhalation more addictive than regular drinking according to scientists.

I dunno, I feel like you're really bypassing the whole social aspect of drinking if you're inhaling it. I mean, who just wants to get drunk and not talk to people in the process? BWAHAHAHAHA! I drink alone in the dark.

Hit the jump for two more shots of the fancy crack pipe.



Thanks to chaygavvara, who agrees it's only a matter of time before mainlining booze is all the rage.

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