Squire -- Fetch My Sneakers: Chainmail Running Shoes

January 7, 2013


These are PaleoBarefoots, a pair of minimalist chainmail shoes made for running around in the woods pretending you're on a dragon slaying mission or whatever. They're a real product you can actually buy. WHY you'd buy them is beyond me, but maybe you misused your neighbor's time machine and brought a knight of the round table to 2013 and want him to feel at home until you can return him to the 6th century when your neighbor finally goes on vacation again. "Knights didn't wear chainmail shoes." Yes they did too. Plus all the princesses wore chastity bells that would ring real loud if they ever tried to have sex before marriage. "You mean chastity BELTS?" Please, I ran the whole 'Medieval Fashion' category on Jeopardy last night, I think I know what I'm talking about. I'll take 'These Chainmail Boxers Won't Stop Pulling My Pubes Out' for $400. "It's not your turn, GW." Oh I'm sorry, what is, 'I DON'T F***ING CARE, ALEX, I'M ABOUT TO LOSE A BALL OVER HERE.'

Hit the jump for several closeups.






Thanks to Christopher and Venda, who both sent me actual chain mail in addition to the tip and said if I don't forward it to at least 10 people in the next hour terrible things are going to happen to me. HA -- I'm already at rock bottom!

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