It's About Time!: Japan Offers Rentable Friends Service

January 9, 2013


If you're anything like me, you're all alone in the world. Zero real friends. Hell, I don't even talk to a single other person all day except the barista at Starbucks and even she doesn't like me because I farted in line once and customers complained. Enter Client Partners, a Japanese firm that lets you rent friends. It's like an escort service, but with no happy ending.

According to the Yomiuri Shimbun, the country's largest newspaper, a Tokyo based firm called Client Partners offers a "Rental Friend" service--among other services--at its locations across the country.

The article recounts how last summer, one lonely 25 year-old named Kouichi (not his real name) rented two female friends to go to a dance club for ¥30,000 ($341). For a part time worker like Kouichi, that's a hefty fee. But he ended up having a great time at the club and hanging out at a restaurant with them all night.

"There's a feeling of security when you are accepted unconditionally," Kouichi said, adding it was better to pay for friends than getting rejected.

Don't listen to him. It is absolutely NOT better to pay for friends than getting rejected. Rejection is a part of life. A HUGE part of mine. Probably 90%. But do you see me paying for friends? No, my life isn't some dudebro fraternity. I'm proud to say I've never paid for sex either and if I have to die a virgin, well, what's $200 before I kick the bucket?

Thanks to Rich, who, despite the name, informed me he has zero money to drop on fake friends.

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