Picture unrelated: different security guard.
A 33-year old security guard in Trinidad and Tobago accidentally blasted his own pecker off after discharging his .38-caliber pistol in his pocket. Shooting from the hip: you did it super wrong.
The wounded man was taken to San Fernando General Hospital where he remains under guard. Authorities ran a trace on him and found that he did not possess a license for the gun he was carrying. He faces charges of illegal possession of a firearm and ammunition.
Unfortunately, these types of accidents are not uncommon. The Digital Journal listed reports of accidental gunshot wounds to the penis and testicles in Arizona and Washington state, as well as an incident from September in Port Lucie, Florida in which a man cleaning a newly purchased gun at a party shot himself in the genitals.
Who knew shooting yourself in the privates was so common? I guess it's just the kind of accident that gets covered up a lot. I mean, who wants to tell the doctor you accidentally shot your peen off? *laying in the ER, doctor rushes in* "How did this happen?" A bear tore it off in the woods! You see, we'd been arguing...
Thanks to Matthew and David B., who have never seen anybody shoot their own wiener off but have seen friends discharge Roman candles from between their buttcheeks. I love doing that.