Good One: Security Guard Shoots His Own Wiener Off

January 23, 2013


Picture unrelated: different security guard.

A 33-year old security guard in Trinidad and Tobago accidentally blasted his own pecker off after discharging his .38-caliber pistol in his pocket. Shooting from the hip: you did it super wrong.

The wounded man was taken to San Fernando General Hospital where he remains under guard. Authorities ran a trace on him and found that he did not possess a license for the gun he was carrying. He faces charges of illegal possession of a firearm and ammunition.

Unfortunately, these types of accidents are not uncommon. The Digital Journal listed reports of accidental gunshot wounds to the penis and testicles in Arizona and Washington state, as well as an incident from September in Port Lucie, Florida in which a man cleaning a newly purchased gun at a party shot himself in the genitals.

Who knew shooting yourself in the privates was so common? I guess it's just the kind of accident that gets covered up a lot. I mean, who wants to tell the doctor you accidentally shot your peen off? *laying in the ER, doctor rushes in* "How did this happen?" A bear tore it off in the woods! You see, we'd been arguing...

Thanks to Matthew and David B., who have never seen anybody shoot their own wiener off but have seen friends discharge Roman candles from between their buttcheeks. I love doing that.

  • Fred Haro

    I get contented to
    see this selective information.
    home security system

  • rioprince

    This written piece gives fastidious understanding surveillance camera

  • Dotard

    We gotta do something about this gun violence, get a security guard for ever security guard's penis.

  • Laura McC

    You had me at the Always Sunny screencap :D

  • Michael James

    That's what happens when you dick around with guns.

  • Idlethoughts

    Because he was not shooting blanks, he will now forever be shooting blanks. Heh, irony.

  • Isaac King

    OMG! I know the guy in Arizona! We call him one nut Matt Johnson.

  • And that is why retards shouldn't be allowed to possess deadly firearms.

  • Maybe it's the evolutionary way to cull off gun-crazed specimens from the gene pool?

  • Matthew Little

    I don't think owning one pistol makes you gun crazed. However stowing one pointed at your junk makes you pretty retarded.

  • That's the point --and shoot ;)


    Of course it happened in Florida too. If anything stupid happens, it usually happens there first.

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