For The Ladies: Moisturizing Jeans Keep Your Legs Soft

January 16, 2013


Excuse me miss, I think you forgot something. "Yes?" A scrunchie!

Wrangler, a brand best known for conjuring up images of tight-assed cowboys whenever you think of them, is releasing the world's first line of moisturizing jeans for ladies. Hey -- I like my legs to feel soft too, you know. Moisturizing isn't just for women. Fun fact: sometimes I like to sit in the dark and rub my legs pretending they're a lady's. One time I even got so into it that when I accidentally brushed against my crotch it freaked out for a second. I'VE BEEN HAD!

The Denim Spa jeans [£85, ~$135] come in three finishes - Aloe Vera, Olive Extract and Smooth Legs, which aims to prevent cellulite. Hydrating properties include of natural oils and butters, such as apricot kernel oil, passion fruit oil, rosehip oil, shea butter and monoi de Tahiti - a Polynesian ingredient made using Tiare flower buds soaked in refined coconut oil.

The effects of the ingredients last up to 15 days, but a reload spray will also available to buy - meaning that the formula lasts between 67 and 95 wears.

Alternatively, just squirt a bunch of lotion down the waist of your existing jeans like I just did. "GW? It's soaking through in the crotch and makes it look like you pissed yourself." Pissed myself, or saved $135? "Pissed yourself." It does, doesn't it? I'll go change.

Thanks to Rob, who told me urine also has moisturizing properties but I think he was just trying to get me to pee in the water the next time I take a bath (which I will).

  • Sophie Rowlands

    What? She's gorgeous, the jeans show off a great asset of hers. Why is everyone reacting like a jealous moron?

  • Donnie Duncanson

    "These jeans are such a technical break-through because they conceal the hips and ass with 'zero dimension' space technology. A moisture-rich, trans-dimensional residue is simply a felicitous by-product", Jimmy 'the snake' Wrangler in a recent interview... apparently...

  • Brant_Alan

    Found a front facing photo because i'm like some sort of Google Sleuth Detective Agent.

  • L Bruce Olson

    How do we know that's a girl?

  • Guest

    it's probably the crossdressing male fashion model Andrej Pejic. that's why it ain'y got no ass.

  • Matt

    Pretty much any clothes you find on the floor of my room will be "moisturizing" to some degree. Also, are we sure the model isn't a dude? It looks like a skinny dude from behind.

  • Joe Ferschke

    It isn't the jeans that made her ass look that way. It is because her body system has been ravaged by drugs and malnutrition. That is not the body of a healthy person.

  • Marcus Como

    Am I the only pervert that noticed how dirty her feet are?

  • Bubbubsky

    Inquiring minds want to know what happened to her ass. She has no ass.

  • Designed for women who want a smooth, healthy pancake butt.

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    they are Wrangler jeans. I am sure she has a great ass....but wearing Wrangler's will definitely not show it off.

  • Cap'n Stu

    it's probably the crossdressing male fashion model Andrej Pejic. that's why it ain't got no ass.

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