Sadness: Man Shoots Girlfriend Over Zombie Argument

December 5, 2012


Supreme failure at life Jared Gurman of Long Island has been charged with attempted murder after shooting his girlfriend following an argument about 'The Walking Dead'. Just reread that sentence and let it all soak in. Even worse, Jared shot her IN THE BACK. Obviously, there's no way he has the survival skills to survive a zombie apocalypse. Or his butthole a night in prison.

Police say Gurman fired one shot from a .22 caliber rifle. Officers say the bullet pierced the unidentified woman's lung and diaphragm and shattered her ribs.

Gurman took her to a hospital.

Gurman's attorney tells Newsday the rifle went off accidentally.

The attorney, Edward L. Lieberman, declined to comment about specifics of the argument.

The rifle went off accidentally? The attorney is declining to comment on the specifics of the argument? I NEED THAT INFORMATION. Were they like, roleplaying the best way to fend off a zombie and she was playing the zombie? And if that's the case, why was her back turned? Are they back together now? Engaged? I seriously need answers or I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight.

Thanks to ChaosLex, who agrees its all downhill from here.

  • probably a zombie survival guide argument about a .22 rifle not being powerful enough!

  • I love GW and his silly stories.
    Write an article about how I killed a bearshark with my left foot please.

  • He is insane.

  • Dvdestrd

    I wonder if they were arguing about whether mummies are also zombies?

  • Kenlin Bros

    If you misread his name as "Gunman", it makes it seem like the police think he is some sort of superhero.

  • slime.WAD

    Nice one geekologie writer, making a joke about where a woman was shot. classy

  • Copedizzle

    Nice one ass golem, making an idiotic username then criticizing someone else. stupid.

  • Max Baldwin

    If she didn't leave the kitchen there would have never been a problem

  • Ana

    hope the zombies will eat you first!

  • The reasons behind shooting folks are recently getting stupider.

  • taran420

    It's because we're drawing nearer to December 21st.

  • Jimboner

    How can they not tell us what the argument was about? Now that's just shoddy journalism.

  • Copedizzle

    He should have shot himself for having an actual argument about zombies.

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