I Can't Wait To Die: $35K Coffin w/ Custom Sound System

December 12, 2012


This is the Catacoffin, a $35,000 coffin with a three-speaker 'Catacombo' sound system controlled by a touchscreen remote INSTALLED IN YOUR GRAVESTONE. You can create your own playlist to listen to on the way to hell or let visitors to your grave pick songs for you. *plays Celion Dion's 'My Heart Will Go On' on repeat for all eternity* Some people are questioning whether or not this thing is even real, but if it's not I'll make you one for the same price AND LAUGH THIS COMPANY ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK. Well, technically, clutch the bag of money real tight and give everyone who I pass on the way a shifty glance. Just don't be surprised if your unit looks like an iPod docking station taped to a refrigerator box. "Fancy." Right? That's the deluxe model. "And the standard one?" Garbage bag and a Walkman.

Hit the jump for a shot of how the system works and a promotional video.


Thanks to daniel, who's holding out for a coffin with a TV. Smart move.

  • Nick Wade

    Thats when you simply have your releatives play "Thriller" every Halloween so you can enjoy the nightlife, even after death.

  • After Death Entertainement ? Really?

  • Guest

    *ding dong the witch is dead* ♫ ♪ ♫ ♪

  • They had this years ago. Was called the "Sony Deadman". See the JLA Watercooler to see it.

  • Dom Barlow

    "Do you believe [...] that music is a supernatural phenomenon"
    Wait, Run that one past me again... Can't say I've ever heard anyone claim that one before.

  • So this plays music to a rotting cadaver? That makes sense.

  • ZomBBombeR

    Yeah I agree entirely on that one.

  • Who is Celion Dion?

  • Michael Knight

    nothing talks about the energy to drive the speakers in the coffin. i assume batteries will be used, but even deep cycle batteries have there limits.
    just being that nerdy guy.

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    I will bieber my enemies straight to hell

  • ZomBBombeR

    Good move. And other than that completely impractical.

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