I'll Never Wake Up: Wild Coffee Could Be Extinct By 2080

November 15, 2012


According to a recent study by Kew Gardens, climate change could wipe out the majority of the world's wild arabica coffee plants by 2080. Then we're left with growing coffee in greenhouses, or, worse, doing a bunch of coke just to be able to get out of bed in the morning.

a warming planet could make 99.7 percent of bean-growing regions too hot to support the crop...Although much of the commercial coffee we drink comes from greenhouses, the wild strain is vital to the bean's longevity. These "pure" beans show farmers what it takes to resist pests and disease and are used to make the farmed beans more resilient.

Is that true -- that most commercial coffee comes from greenhouses? I never would have imagined that. Of course I never would have imagined paying $5 for a cup of coffee either, and yet here we are. "At Starbucks?" MacBooks everywhere.

Thanks to Evil Ares, who's so evil he's probably the driving force behind global warming.

  • Brant_Alan

    Well then, I hope i'm dead before 2080.

  • Because agricultural technology/science will remain COMPLETELY stagnant over the next 68 years . . .

  • Anodos

    Think ill troll all articles like that "Flood is coming to this small town" Oh sure, because we wont have ANTI-FLOOD TECHNOLOGY by then, thus making this COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT. GOOD DAY, sir.

  • Anodos

    Good point. It just might.

  • James Douglas

    Meh... the coffee regions would just push further north/south, and we'll be seeing coffee grown in Mexico/Texas. The world will adjust, even if the process of doing so will suck.

  • Anodos

    Really? Big farmer are you? Im sure the soil is great for coffee there. REAAALL surree (sorry, sarcasm doesnt make it into print well)

  • I agree! Wouldn't new places become prime for coffee growing? I think this study has a few logical flaws.

  • The Great Coffee Migration will be a great historical moment in the future.

  • I drink tea.
    And why did you change the picture GW?

  • Gamy

    I saw that GW!

  • Le' Gasp! We must save the coffee!!!...oh and the planet too.

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