Damn Yeah, Diabetes!: The 26-Pound Gummi Python

November 8, 2012


Whoa, is this a penis?

Because who doesn't want to stare diabetes right in the eyes and tell it, "I give up, just take me," Vat19 is selling these 26.9-pound, 36,720 calorie Party Pythons. They're almost eight feet long, cost $150, and come in red cherry/blue raspberry and blue raspberry/green apple. Each snake contains over 12-pounds of sugar and can be cut into 306 individual 120-calorie servings. Alternatively, you can just eat the whole thing by yourself in a day and die. And not die happy, mind you -- die miserable. No worries though, I have the feeling that's how I'm going to go too. That or in an explosion.

Hit the jump for a bunch more shots.






Thanks to my pal Terry, who put an original NES golden Zelda cartridge in a shadow box and hung it on the wall as art and it actually looks really good even though I would never admit that to him.

  • Hayley Prychun Rodgers

    Man, Joe is even hot when taking a giant bite. Curses.

  • daiya

    Now how much everclear do you soak it in too get drunk?

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy
  • That gentalmen indeed has large pythons on his arms, and I'm not referring to the gummy fella.

    These look tasty and would be great for one of those parties. "Who wants part of an 8ft long snake to go along with their piece of that 8ft long sub?"

  • elninio

    OMG what happened to the arm of the guy in the last shot ? A graft ? a t-shirt tan ?

  • $18922249

    Edit: I made a joke about diabetes... without reading the title or the article first... so... yeah. A giant corn syrup snake thing. Cool.

  • sandul

    My mind went straight to porn... /sigh

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