All Time Low: Universe Isn't Making Many New Stars

November 15, 2012


According to astronomers, star formation across the universe is at an all time low, some 30 times less than it was at its height 11-billion years ago. They also speculate only another 5% more stars being formed in the future. Well folks, looks like it's all downhill from here. *prepping the Kool-Aid*

It turns out that half the stars in existence now formed more than 9 billion years ago, and it took just 2 billion years to form all of them. The other half took almost five times as long to produce. If this trend continues, the universe will only get 5 percent more stars, even if we wait forever, the scientists say.

"We are clearly living in a universe dominated by old stars. All of the action in the universe occurred billions of years ago," Sobral said in a statement.

I mean sure 5% more stars is still a TON of new stars, It's just weird to think that the universe as an old folk's home. You think space smells like moth balls and stale urine too? I hope not. One time we went to sing Christmas carols at a retirement home and this one old lady farted and didn't notice. I laughed about it at the time but now it just makes me cripplingly depressed. Unless -- UNLESS -- she just pretended to not notice because she knew she could get away with gassing us when we're only a quarter of the way through 'We Wish You A Marry Christmas', in which case that makes me excited to get old.

Thanks to OD Wan Kenobi, who agrees the universe will never stop producing new stars as long as we keep having baby boys. Get it? Sons/suns. I'm a shameful idiot and should be shunned by my village.

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