I Said Bring Chicks!: Middle Earth Was Basically All Dudes

October 15, 2012


In news that shouldn't surprise anyone who wrote Peter Jackson after watching Lord of the Rings and demanded a Director's Cut with way more boobs, Middle Earth is basically all dudes. There are SOME chicks, just not very many. Who knows, maybe their genetics work different where a baby only has a one in five chance of being female. Or maybe they banish all the women to Beginning Earth or End Earth because the dudes just prefer the company of other dudes. I sat in a sauna with a bunch of other guys one time, it was okay. I was the only one naked though. Not gonna lie, I might have left a skid mark on the bench.

Thanks to Blaxe, who said there are so many dudes in Middle Earth because everyone there has sex in the forest and that's how you conceive baby boys. OMG -- a bear told me the same thing!

  • ZomBBombeR

    For once I can gladly say I'm living on normal earth, not that normal but better ratio's, sounds like a science cereal.

  • Anon

    Got a problem with most of the characters being male, take it up with Tolkien, not Peter Jackson. Peter Jackson re-created the books, which, not surprisingly had mostly male characters. Concidering Middle Earth, though a fictional place, was set in a fairly primative time period compared to ours, did any of you think that there are very few female characters, because (as mentioned several times "a woman should not fight") very few played any role in the destruction of the one ring and even less were capable of fighting, which is a big part of what the books were about.

  • mishqueen

    Every movie.
    Every movie is a sausage fest. Women make up 50% of the population, but there is often only a token woman in each movie. Who is usually there for eye candy.
    It's not a good statistic. Hollywood is supposed to be soooo liberal, but it should be ashamed of itself in the area of gender portrayal.

  • Katherine

    that's a big dis to the Ents yo

  • AaaronG

    All the Entwives were dead, remember?

  • There just weren't very many shots of Middle-Earth's kitchens.

  • Jadis


  • Gay?

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy
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