Astronomers Discover Planet That's At Least 1/3 Diamond

October 12, 2012


Astronomers have recently verified that 55 Cancri e, a planet originally discovered in 2004, is composed mostly of carbon, at least a third of which is in the form of DIAMONDS. And it's only 40-light years away! Travel at the speed of light for 40 years and you're there. Another 40 years back to earth and getting engaged won't be such a strain on the wallet!

"This is our first glimpse of a rocky world with a fundamentally different chemistry from Earth," lead researcher Nikku Madhusudhan of Yale University said in a statement. "The surface of this planet is likely covered in graphite and diamond rather than water and granite."

So here's the plan: get drunk and forget about it. "But what about the diamond planet?!" Pfft, if it's not happening in my lifetime I don't care. "Dammit GW, that's a pretty poor attitude to have -- humanity is still going to exist after you're gone you know." GET OFF MY LAWN.

Thanks to Bria and Tickles The Randy Pangolin, who agree space diamonds are cooler than earth diamonds because, you know, space and stuff.

  • Serrah Kenway

    Let me guess. The sun has deadly X-Tonic rays.

  • phillip reyes

    This is pandora. This this what the humans were mining for in avatar. James Cameron is psychic.

  • ZomBBombeR

    Well I guess people just need to learn to teleport and the price of diamonds will be plumetting. gold that'll still be worth more than it needs to be and continue to be bonded to things like vibrators until we run out of useless things to gold plate.

  • flyingmonkey456

    Did this remind anybody else of that episode of Doctor Who?

  • Umm...which?

  • flyingmonkey456

    The one with the diamond planet of course. :P

  • Oh, 'Midnight'. Of course. I forgot about that.

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    you know....that one...with the guy that had that thing

  • AdvancePlays

    Maybe this'll convince people that diamonds are pretty overpriced here. I mean, a planet's worth of them and they're charging my grandpa's life savings for it? :P

  • Guest

    This is a pretty impressive theory. Should we now call it Treasure Planet?

  • This is what Galactus would use for a wedding ring.
    If he could find some giant woman to marry him, that is.

  • Exactly what I thought the first time I found this story ;)

  • Dibs

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    If you left now and traveled 99% the speed of light, it would be 2572 when you returned.

    I would just stick with robbing a jewelry store.

  • Thanks for that.

    Now my dreams are RUINED! *sobs*

  • Jesse Diel

    Now we have money to pay for all those expensive dildos.

blog comments powered by Disqus
Previous Post
Next Post