Snake With Heads At BOTH ENDS Found In South Carolina

September 25, 2012

two-headed-snake.jpg

Allegedly a family of yokels in South Carolina found a snake (identified by experts in the local high school biology department as a rough earth snake) with a head at both ends of its body. That...is weird. Of course the local news channel sent a reporter out to investigate, and she came back unable to verify one way or the other if it actually did have two heads because she was too afraid to pick it up and stare into its ass-eyes.

The children's mother, Tina Stewart, told Fox Carolina: 'One head's is bigger and more dominant than the other, but they both seem to control the body.'


She added: 'The main head will do one thing and then the other part's trying to go in the opposite direction.'

But while the snake pulls itself in opposite directions, young Savanna and Preston are also pulled in different directions on what to name the snake.

Preston told Fox Carolina: 'I want to name it Billy Bob.'

His sister chimed in: 'I'll just name it Oreo.'

Ahahahhahahhaha, Preston wants to name it Billy Bob. That's some serious southern shit right there. Now, I'm not saying that finding a two-headed snake is gonna be the biggest thing that ever happens in these kids' lives, because that would paint me as some sort of insensitive monster, and I prefer to be painted in the nude. Make my penis bigger though.

Hit the jump for the news report in which yes, the anchor does ask how it goes to the bathroom.

Thanks to Jason, Sydney, Nathan and SPiT, who have allegedly seen sharks with two heads before but I don't believe them, mostly because I refuse to admit those might actually exist. I like to sleep at night.

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