The Presidential Speech To Be Delivered In The Event Neil Armstrong And Buzz Aldrin Got Stuck On The Moon

August 29, 2012


This is the very touching (I cried) presidential speech prepared in the event Neil Armstrong and Edwin 'Buzz' Aldrin got stuck on the moon and wouldn't be returning home to earth. Thankfully, it never had to be delivered. NOW ENOUGH LOLLYGAGGING, LET'S GET SOME MORE MEN UP THERE. Hell, I'll let you send me if you tape enough fireworks together.

Page 2 after the jump.


Thanks to Lydia, who made a very appropriate 'Space Oddity' reference. Don't think I didn't appreciate that.

  • ZomBBombeR

    Gotta love the back up plan.

  • ...Does it make me a bad person that I kind of wish they had gotten stuck now?

  • Steven Jorgson

    Oh snap! Straight up thieving from Rupert Brooke!

    "For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind." -- Presidential speech

    "If I should die, this only this of me:
    That there's some corner of a foreign field
    That is forever England." --The Soldier, by Rupert Brooke

  • Girgear

    Is it just me or is everyone reading this in the voice of JFK instead of Nixon? Man, it would have been epic either way.

  • dethduck

    And no mention of Michael Collins. Partly makes me wonder if this letter is fake but reminds me how history has all but forgotten the third member of Apollo 11.

  • The1Mia

    Michael Collins didn't walk on the moon, he stayed in orbit piloting Apollo 11

  • Boy, that first line is corny.

  • JimmyThr

    Not gonna lie, that sounded more awesome than i thought it would, page 2 excerpt is unnecessary and breaks the mood a little though

  • wolfman_al2

    All neat and dandy, but now imagen then president Richard Milhouse "I´m not a crook" Nixon reading that.
    Not really moving me.

  • Get Billy West on it so we can hear a somber "aaaarrrrooo...." in there in that case.

  • rubric_kolinahr

    Damn these onions in here...

  • Could anyone do me the favor of identifying a font similar or identical to the one used here?

  • GizmoDuck
  • Mat Pridham

    How differently history would have played out...

  • Joe Ryburn

    That's.... kind of amazing.

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