This is a pair of $20 plastic Wolverine claw toys. They're pretty cheesewhizzy, but I still want them. I've been looking for something that says, "Don't mess with me" when I'm out jogging at night. Apparently the fanny-pack isn't cutting it. "And you feel like something you could trip and impale yourself on is the right choice?" Please, I once chased a roommate with a circular saw, I'm not that clumsy. "What's up with the arm cast?" WE'RE NOT DOING THIS RIGHT NOW.
Thanks to carey, who agrees that, based on amount of arm hair, the model in the picture is a full-grown adult. A shameful, shameful adult (I'm joking I'd rock the hell out of those!).