Sexy Time!: Chocolate Hats To Wear On Your Peenor

July 25, 2012


But do they come in XL?

Because even peens deserve to play dress-up from time to time, online retailer D*ckHats is selling these edible chocolate dong toppers for sweetening up sexy-time with your lover. They're currently available in viking and cowboy hat varieties, but I've got my fingers crossed for dunce cap, sombrero and space-helmet versions in the future. Each hat will set you back $10, and are one size fits MOST. I just bought the viking one and have been wearing it all day with the hopes of, you know, getting some. Unfortunately it melted and now it just looks like I shit my pants.

Hit the jump for a shot of the cowboy version.


Thanks to athiestgirl, who's holding out for a fez or beret.

  • Sebastien Michael Mansfield

    Oh my god, my girlfriend must see this.

  • p_shep

    Mine went 'That's disgusting!'

  • BobbyRooney

    how long can you stay hard enough for these to stay on? and wont it cause a giant mess since it will start melting immediately?

  • I don't think the average male penis reaches such scorching temperatures during an erection.

    But you might want to keep them in a freezer, which would make for an interesting conversation if your younger nephews found them first ;)

  • Ryan Judson

    finally my wang can look like a washed up former rapper/VH1 reality 'star'? YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHH BOOOOOYYYYyyyyYYYYY! for added effect strap a watch on it, FLAVOR FLAV!

  • Gob

    i want a darthvader- and some stormtrooper helmets. then i invite some friends and
    we reenact the opening scene from a new hope.

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    gay much?

  • Am I the only one who thinks that anyone who buys these should be checked out by FBI? You know, just in case.

  • A rather literal way to um, sweeten the deal?

  • Legendxlm

    Can these be used in lieu of contraceptives?

  • Malcolm Fried

    yo changed it from XS to XL. sneaky bastard

  • dgentrup09

    I seent it too!

  • Chocolate goes well with almost anything.
    (Aaaand he's spelt my name wrong. Close GW, close.)

  • ElSpanielo

    I before E except after C... wait a minute...

  • kevin dijkshoorn

    do you wanna eat that from my peenor?

  • rikster81

    I want a basball cap with two little beer cans

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    I want an Indiana Jones hat

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