Let's Go Swim In The Moat!: Custom Chain-Mail Bikinis

July 23, 2012

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I lied, they only makes bikini tops. You're still gonna have to wear a dragon hide or whatever for a bottom. Or -- OR -- nothing at all. I'm gonna vote nothing at all provided, you know, GIANT BUSH. One time I went to a nude beach and thought a lady was wearing a silver bikini bottom. NOPE, unshaven granny. She still had it.

This handmade, swim-friendly, waterproof chainmail bikini top is made from saw-cut bright aluminum and latex-free EPDM rubber. The rubber gives just the right amount of stretch to gently cup around your curves, accentuating them in just the right way, the silver rings providing a shiny and eye-catching sparkle.


These tops are extremely comfortable and light, weighing only a half pound, and tie in the back and at the neck with a wide satin ribbon for the ultimate in comfort and adjustability. These bikini tops are completely street-legal; nothing can be seen through the weave, and are completely waterproof/swim friendly.

A custom top will set you back $175 but, come on, can you really put a price on attracting the eye of the prince of your dreams? Yes, it's called a $80 love potion. You can buy them from witches. But, WARNING: do NOT buy from the one who lives out by the dwarven mines. I think she put a sleep spell on me last time and rubbed my nips while I was out. "Why do you think that?" Because I asked her to. "So what's the problem?" When I woke up they were on fire!

Hit the jump for several more examples.

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Thanks to Jessie, who's rocking the dragonscale armor bikini she bought in Skyrim this summer.

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