I Feel Ooky: Finally, A Decent Rocking Chair Bed

July 13, 2012


This is the Mood Rocking Bed from Fab. It's a real bed, and they're available from $2,835 (for a full) to $ 3,665 (for a king). They also sell a twin for $1,665, but come on, nobody's sleeping in a twin. "What about kids?" They don't need $1,700 beds, that's what. I slept on the floor in a sleeping bag until I was 13. And you know what? I did it from 15 to 30 too, after experimenting with a hammock for a year. Also, who sleeps in the middle of a field like that? Because if I wake up to a cow trying to eat my covers I'm gonna be pissed. No, no I'm not. I'm gonna think I'm in Oz or something. "The prison?" Yeah, the prison, dummy. God I should shank you so hard right now. Hey -- have you ever wanted to be having sex, but then, instead of climaxing, puking instead? Well that's what this bed is for. Alternatively, have sex in a rowboat. Just saying, I saw two counselors do it at summer camp once! Then Jason killed them. BOOM -- Friday the 13th tie-in, count it.

Hit the jump for another shot in case you were wondering what the bed might look like in your unfinished garage.


Thanks to juliet, who sleeps with head in the clouds because she's a daydreamer. Or just really tall.

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