For Sale: 'Black Knight' Hummer H2 With Over 20 Machine Guns/Grenade Launchers Attached

July 2, 2012


This is the heavily modified 'Black Knight' Hummer H2. It has a shit-ton of weapons attached to it like guns, rocket launchers, flame throwers and SWORDS. Aaaaaaaand now it's for sale on eBay for the low, low price of $55,000. Did I mention it has Lambo doors? Because it does. Plus 86,000-miles and zero remaining factory warranty. Let's drive it into the ocean and blow up a shark!

Black Knight is Ready for Action and Armed to the Teeth!!

7- MA Deuce 50 Caliber Machine Guns with Tripods
2- 30 Caliber M1919 Machine Guns
10- Mini-Guns with Rotating Action
4- RPG's Rocket Propelled Grenade Launchers
20mm Real Shells on Front Brush Guard and on Back Spare Tire
50 Caliber on Top Shoots Simulated Fire with Loud Report and Works with Propane/ Oxygen Tanks Stored in Ammo Cases on Roof. Nitrous Oxide Purge System with Nozzles on Hood and Front 50 Caliber Machine Guns.
Laser Lights on Guns and Roof Rack
2- Final Fantasy Swords 56" Long Mounted on Roof Rack
Additional Swords Mounted on Back and Front
Dragons, Skulls, Hid Lights, Headers, Dual exhaust, Optima and 2- Marine Batteries, Chrome Hand Grenade Shifter
2000 Watt Amp, 12" Sub Woofers, 15 Multicolor Interior Lasers
2 Fire Extinguishers
Back Seat has 2- M1919 Machine Guns, 1- Mini-Gun, Pineapple Grenades, 50 Caliber Bullets and 40mm Shells for Grenade Launchers.
Everything is Controlled with Wireless Remote

There are a bunch more pics and some videos showing off all the features after the jump which, come on, you and I don't need to watch to know this is the vehicle for us. It's not like zombies are smart enough to tell a real gun from a fake one. We just drive around setting off the flame-throwers and sound effects and BOOM -- apocalypse survived. Plus we never had to kill any zombified relatives! Now -- what's your Paypal login?

Hit the jump for our new ride (the last video is my favorite).








Thanks to whoever sent me this over the weekend. I couldn't find your tip again because I just saved the eBay auction to my desktop. But if you remind me I'll erase all this and say something like 'XXXXXXXX is the coolest, plus very handsome/pretty!'

  • Why do any of you care what he spends HIS money on? I think it's pretty darn sweet. A little overindulgent, yes but definitely fun.

  • $4251815

    How far in the closet do you have to be to drive this piece of shit?

  • Can someone fill me in on where they got the decals done?

  • nick, man ─╤╦︻

    If you have to get a hummer, this should be it; but whose idea was it to put live rounds on the front of it? Won't that hurt in an accident?

  • This definitely looks like someone's dipshit attempt at a remake of "Jayce and the Wheeled Warriors".

  • Charles Whelan

    I would pay to see this guy leave his truck in Harlem over night..

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    I would like to comment on this but I am trying to think of another word for useless.

  • Futile ;)

  • James Mcelroy

    this looks like a slow 6 year old designed it.

  • Mike Perry

    In a weird twist, this is not legal to own in New York City. Also, I'd bet not legal in Gotham.

  • My name is Calypso, and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal.

  • julian ritter

    nananananana doucheman!

  • PurpleJim8

    Welcome to Twisted Metal!

  • Adam Blanshard

    Only in America... (and only Americans would take that statement as a compliment)

  • Inappropirate

    Lambo doors? Really you guys? You're that retarded? They are called Gullwing doors. If you're going to talk about cars don't freaking be stupid. Saying Lambo doors is like saying Football(American) Pitch. It works but it's not right and makes you sound like an idiot.

  • Wow, I think what captain dumbass here was trying to say was "scissor doors"

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    your rant is funny because all you did was prove yourself to be a douche.

  • I just wonder if all you idiots that say it's a waste of money understand, it was his money to waste. So is it any of your business that he did?

  • Lambo door mod makes it so no one can actually fit in the back doors... Not well thought out...

  • What a hideous disgraceful waste of money...

  • $18922249

    You should check out our F-35 bill...

  • Brian

    You're an idiot. The F-35 was designed for a reason and serves a purpose. This is just ridiculous.

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