Dreams Really Do Come True: Seaweed Pizza Healthy Enough To Eat For Every Meal (Including Linner!)

July 5, 2012

pizza-gone-wrong.jpg

Picture related: another healthy pizza.

Mike Lean is a scientist. One who knows what's up and isn't wasting his time smashing particles together hoping the world explodes. No, Mike is fighting the good fight and announced what he claims is the world's first nutritionally balanced pizza, giving eaters the proper amount of vitamins, minerals, protein, carbohydrates, etc. when eaten three times daily. No word on how bad your diarrhea will be.

"I researched the market and found that seaweed was an interesting new ingredient being used in artisan bread. So we used that as a way of reducing the salt level. The sodium content of seaweed is about 3.5 percent compared to 40 percent in salt. There's iodine in there, vitamin B12, all sorts of things. And the flavour is excellent as well."


Elsewhere, the tomato sauce contains extra red pepper for a boost of vitamin C, and each pizza features extra magnesium, potassium, folates and vitamin A. All told, each pizza contains the exact proportions of calories, proteins, fat, carbohydrate and nutrients to make it a single, meal-sized way to obtain 30 percent of your recommended daily intake. Talking on BBC Radio 4's Today program this morning, Lean explained that it could be eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner with not a single negative health effect.

Obviously, everybody's first concern is the taste. Which, according to Lean's survey of 100 third graders, was ranked equal or better than other frozen pizzas. Not bad! "They're 3rd graders, GW." Yeah, what's your point? "They like Chuck E. Cheese pizza." That stuff is good. "And eat their own boogers." Nature's salty snack!

Thanks to Dunc, who rambled on in his email about how good the dessert pizza is at the Pizza Inn by his house. SHUT UP AND TAKE ME.

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