Crazy Ruskie Claims Human "Immortality" By 2045

July 30, 2012

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Some crazy Russian nutjob claims we'll achieve human immortality by 2045. Just...not in the way that you think. Unless you thought you'd have a holographic body controlled by your brain in a jar, in which case remind me to destroy my mind with drugs and alcohol so they can't do that to me.

The man behind the 2045 Initiative, described as a nonprofit organization, is a Russian named Dmitry Itskov. The ambitious timeline he's laid out involves creating different avatars. First a robotic copy that's controlled remotely through a brain interface. Then one in which a human brain can be transplanted at the end of life. The next could house an artificial human brain, and finally we'd have holographic avatars containing our intelligence much like the movie "Surrogates."


The project's ultimate goal is to save people from suffering and death. While there are smart experts involved, that's no guarantee that human immortality is even a goal worth pursuing. Anyone caught up in the vampire mania that's punctured popular culture has pondered whether, given a choice, you'd actually want to live forever.

Listen: anybody who thinks they want to live forever is INSANE. Forever is like, way too long to be living, even in a holographic body. Hell, I'm contemplating if I'm even going to want to continue past 60, and, truthfully, it all depends on how my dong holds out. *peeking down shorts* It's not looking good.

Thanks to Metalmusick, who plans on living forever though thrashing and headbanging and GLOWSTICKS. No? Okay no glowsticks, just the other things.

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