God, Then Just Go Date A Stupid Robot: 15% Of iPhone Users Would Rather Give Up Sex Than Phone

June 21, 2012


According to a recent survey conducted by electronics trade-in site Gazelle of 1,000 people who have owned at least one iPhone, a solid 15% of users admitted to be willing to part with sex before their phone, even for as short as a weekend. That...gives me the sads. Another 4% admitted to using the phone during sex, which I don't have a problem with considering it IS a camera. Now if they were calling their buddies, that's different. Calling for food delivery, acceptable.

It found that 65 percent said the iPhone was the device or platform they would not be able to live without, compared with just 1 percent opting for Facebook.

More than 25 percent said they '"almost always" use their iPhone in a social setting such a meal or party, while 58 percent said they do so "usually" or "occasionally." Nearly 85 percent said they used their iPhone in the bathroom.

But the juicy stat is that nearly 15 percent of respondents said they'd rather give up sex than go for even a weekend without their iPhone. And nearly 4 percent of reported having used their iPhone during sex. Keep that up and you won't have to choose between sex and the iPhone for long.

So 15% of iPhone users would rather give up sex than their phone. You know what those people are called? Chronic masturbaters. You folks in the audience, by a show of hands how many of you would rather forgo sex than your phone? *hands raise* Now, what do you see? "A lot of big forearms." And? "Hairy palms." I rest my case.

Thanks to neolardo, who's willing to give up anything except pizza because he's a shadow-member of the ninja turtles. Me? I'd give up anything just to be able to get a boner again.

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