Yeah, I'll Stick To The Shore: A $50,000 Barbecue Boat

June 12, 2012


This is the $50,000 Barbecue Dining Boat from (who else?) Hammacher Schlemmer. What do you get for your $50,000? SPOILER: Not your money's worth. It's not even glass-bottomed for ogling mermaids! You might as well be cooking on a paddle boat. Just throw a grill on this party barge and save yourself $38K. Think of all the hotdogs that could buy! HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THOSE CRAPPY BRIGHT RED ONES.

This is the boat with a built-in barbecue grill, umbrella, and trolling motor that provides waterborne cookouts for up to 10 adults. The boat's 24"-diam. steel charcoal grill is surrounded by an ABS table with 10 place settings that each have a recessed plate holder, three beverage holders, and silverware tray. Six compartments beneath the ABS seats store food and supplies for all-day cookouts. The 11'-diam. nylon umbrella can be retracted when using the grill. Its 30-watt electric trolling motor enables operators to maneuver up to 2 1/2 mph through calm water and alongside docks for loading/unloading.

LOL @ "all-day cookouts." Because if there's one way I want to spend a Saturday it's on a dinghy in the middle of a lake with a bunch of sweaty dudes pissing over the side then handling food. "Just wash your hands in the lake water." Ha, I was thinking the exact same thing. You know what this bbq boat party REALLY needs? Some diarrhea.

Hit the jump for two close-ups.



Thanks to Todd, who tried to tell me he was BBQ'ing on a boat one time when a fish jumped out of the water and landed right on the grill. You know what, Todd? I'm gonna believe you but I hope this doesn't come back to haunt me.

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