Yeah, I'll Stick To The Shore: A $50,000 Barbecue Boat

June 12, 2012


This is the $50,000 Barbecue Dining Boat from (who else?) Hammacher Schlemmer. What do you get for your $50,000? SPOILER: Not your money's worth. It's not even glass-bottomed for ogling mermaids! You might as well be cooking on a paddle boat. Just throw a grill on this party barge and save yourself $38K. Think of all the hotdogs that could buy! HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF THOSE CRAPPY BRIGHT RED ONES.

This is the boat with a built-in barbecue grill, umbrella, and trolling motor that provides waterborne cookouts for up to 10 adults. The boat's 24"-diam. steel charcoal grill is surrounded by an ABS table with 10 place settings that each have a recessed plate holder, three beverage holders, and silverware tray. Six compartments beneath the ABS seats store food and supplies for all-day cookouts. The 11'-diam. nylon umbrella can be retracted when using the grill. Its 30-watt electric trolling motor enables operators to maneuver up to 2 1/2 mph through calm water and alongside docks for loading/unloading.

LOL @ "all-day cookouts." Because if there's one way I want to spend a Saturday it's on a dinghy in the middle of a lake with a bunch of sweaty dudes pissing over the side then handling food. "Just wash your hands in the lake water." Ha, I was thinking the exact same thing. You know what this bbq boat party REALLY needs? Some diarrhea.

Hit the jump for two close-ups.



Thanks to Todd, who tried to tell me he was BBQ'ing on a boat one time when a fish jumped out of the water and landed right on the grill. You know what, Todd? I'm gonna believe you but I hope this doesn't come back to haunt me.

  • Kimberly Anne

    They are available in florida for $15,000

  • Dirgible

    Look at all those cup holders ...there's freakin 21 of them, that's gotta be the selling point. You couldn't even fish off the sides because of the umbrella. lol trolling motor, that guy's gonna tear up the lake with that thing. That boat looks like hell to control; donuts would be fun.

  • Marinda Qualls

    I hope you didn't mean Rocky Mtn hot dogs by, "crappy red ones" ... those are the best!

  • As a designer, I find this as a perfect example of how they try to cramp up two different uses in the same object, and the result yields a mediocre functionality on both ends —Neither a good motor boat, nor BBQ grill.

    But the design is still sold as sophisticated because "none of your friends owns one of these!" >_<

    It's as kitsch as as limousine with an added hot tub in the middle.

  • someone photoshop "you're poor" over that guy head.

  • Adam Joyce

    Isn't that one of those things Darth Sidious was hurling at Yoda in the Senate chamber? I'm not a virgin.

  • Jeff Weaver

    Is that Lars?

  • Amplifide

    It's a White Water Rampage boat! With a grill! Six Flags better jump on this shit before Disney gets it!

  • guywithabeard

    These exact same boats are in the shit-excuse for a harbour we have nearby.

    Company rents out under-powered boats, canoes and these things, they've had them for a few years now, never seen anyone use them in the canals here though... Can not for the life of me believe that these "boats" are 50.000 a pop... I think they've mistakenly typed a few 0's too much...

  • BillGatesIsYourDaddy

    can you ski behind it?

  • Davo555

    Although, that's a hell of a way to float a river, until you hit the shallows and it takes 10 drunkards to carry the dang thing.

  • Davo555

    That's no 30w trolling motor in the pic. just sayin

  • GirlFromSpace

    I guess...I mean it's KINDA cool...but not worth that money. And the photo of those douches makes me unlike the idea a bit. Just sayin...

  • Wow, thats very overpriced! That grill wouldn't even have enough space on it to cook for 5 people let alone 10! Not to mention the max speed of that thing is only 2.5 mph....

  • If it came with a Japanese man to stand in the middle and serve sushi, then I would consider buying it.

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