Vampire Skeletons Found With Iron Stakes Through Heart

June 6, 2012


Scientists recently unearthed two 16th century vampire skeletons in Bulgaria that were buried with iron stakes through their hearts. Why the medieval vampire hunters didn't use garlic marinaded steaks is beyond me, but I suspect it's because I'm dumb and have the brain of a dinosaur (my dad was a t-rex).

National history museum chief Bozhidar Dimitrov said: "These two skeletons stabbed with rods illustrate a practice which was common in some Bulgarian villages up until the first decade of the 20th century.

"These people were believed to be evil while they were alive, and it was believed that they would become vampires once they are dead, continuing to torment people.

"The curious thing is that there are no women among them. They were not afraid of witches."

Reread that last paragraph. You know what that's called? Bad science. Just because there were no women among the remains doesn't mean they weren't afraid of witches. They probably just burned them all and fed their bones to a dragon. You can't go jumping to conclusions like that.

Thanks to Tony and Nathan J., who don't believe in vampires but are deathly afraid of ghosts and magic.

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