Learning By Looking Down: Probiotic Yogurt Drink Turns Your Dookie Different Colors To Tell You What's Wrong

June 21, 2012

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I'm really hoping those are painted candybars because otherwise there are TURDS ON THE HOME PAGE. I guess there's a first time for everything. E. Chromi is a yogurt-like probiotic drink derived from E. Coli bacteria that could soon turn your doodoo different colors based on what the hell is wrong with you. Me? EVERYTHING is wrong with me.

While researchers have so far only suggested that the drink could be used to track the progress of E. coli, they believe that one day it can diagnose conditions like colorectal cancer, worms, stomach ulcer and salmonella just by people looking into the toilet to check the color of their remains.

Admittedly, that's not a bad idea. I'm just always too afraid to look back in the toilet after I'm finished because I'm constantly afraid I have worms. No lie, sometimes my butt itches right around the exit and I convince myself it's a worm peeking its head out. No word what it means if you look in the bowl and it's all liquid, but my guess is a serious case of TB. "Tuberculosis? " Taco Bells.

Hit the jump for an instructional video of the "Dammit doc, I'm shitting rainbows, man. Give it to me straight -- am I a unicorn and you're just not telling me?!"

Thanks to Jason and Andi, who agree green is never good.

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