Damn Mother Nature, You Crazier Than Those People Who Have Sex With Their Cars: Monkey-Face Orchids

June 12, 2012

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This is a small gallery of Monkey Orchids (Dracula simia, vampire monkey -- like those creepy f***ers from The Wizard of Oz). They're found in the highest rainforests of Ecuador and Peru and uncannily resemble little monkey faces. Why? Presumably (and this is just a personal hypothesis) to attract monkeys for pollination, who rub those nasty, bright-red asses of theirs on the flowers thinking they're insulting a rival. "Wow GW, where do you even come up with this stuff?" It's evolution, bro -- the exact same instinct that drives me to draw pictures of my enemies on toilet paper. *wiping* Haha -- when I'm through with you, you're gonna be nothing but dingleberries!

Hit the jump for several examples of the freaky-deaky.

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Thanks to PYY, who promised me a greenhouse to grow orchids in even though she knows good and well I'm just gonna grow weed in it.

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