WTF Are You Even Talking About?: Sacred Order Of Geeks

May 21, 2012


This is a giant chart depicting sixteen different types of geeks. Are they accurate? Not a single f***ing one. I'm not even sure why I posted them except 1. to make sure I have a reason to hate myself later so 2. I have an excuse to go out drinking tonight. What can I say, my life is a cycle. No -- an exercise bike. *pedal pedal pedal* See? I am going NOWHERE.

Hit the jump for the whole thing.



Thanks to Will and bamboo, who don't like being pigeonholed into categories because they defy all boundaries. Jk jk, they just like arguing.

  • AmRami

    I think the categories are great but the descriptions are oversimplified.
    Also, the graphics get on my nerves but I do appreciate the variety in genders and sick of "geek" being equivalent to "white male".

  • This is fucking retarded.
    I hope whoever made it dies of massively infected ass herpies he contracts from being violently raped.

  • error37


  • Well I see myself as a Gamer, Gadget and Comic geek. But what the fuck kind of definition are those?

  • Guest

    I'm more like a casserole of most of these geeks + a punk. What are your flavors folks?

  • Paul L. Gambon

    Oh HELL NOO! You can NOT call ANYONE with a HOBBY a "_____ Geek"!!!! Jock sniffers are not nor will they ever be geeks! Bitches whose major news outlet is InTouch weekly are NOT geeks!

  • Katana_X

    No, it is definitely possible to be obsessed with a sport to the extent that it becomes social awkward. That's really the principal characteristic of a geek. Although, technically, there has not been a proper definition of what "geek" means. Pop culture geeks are, by definition, almost impossible though. As a general rule of thumb, if you can have a collection of some sort, you can have a geekdom: trading cards, comic books, mangas, dvds, action figures, posters, etc. all count.

  • Paul L. Gambon

    I think the best general definition for a "geek" is the English translation of "otaku" from the Japanese. By your reasoning, I agree that "anyone" could be a geek. However, certain obsessers, based upon their historic animosity toward traditional "geeks" should remain excluded from the rolls of geekdom. Jocks and jock sniffers, popular girls, etc. These are not geeks. They are self-described enemies of geekdom.

  • Id rather use the term I'm Kung-Fu instead of Geek :<


    Sweet, so I guess I'm all the good parts of each of them without any of the cunty parts. Except the cosplay and Apple ones, obviously. I'm not a total prick.

  • The fail is strong with this one.

  • Inappropirate

    Fucking terrible. And wtf kind of item, potion, or w/e gives +1 to mana. That doesn't make any sense and +1 to mana is fucking nothing. Oh yeah I'm gonna use my +1 mana potion so I can cast my .1 cost spell. In Final Fantasy stories X is the best. In best stories all round Halo wins. Never even touched DOA: Beach volleyball. Seriously if you're going to look at porn of games just do it. If you're going to make a chart don't be fucking retarded about it.

  • PolleN112

    This is retarded. Half of these aren't geeks and the ones that are get oversimplified. Whoever made this isn't a geek at all. Just some unfunny poser.

  • William Hawkins

    I am pretty sure I could fit into several categories. I dislike our need to label everything and everyone. Makes for a really boring world.

  • Elyvee

    Isn't code red mountain dew + health? Blue one's mana surely.

  • Bryce

    Thats exactly what I was going to say, and "+1"? WTF? What is that like a shot glass of Mountain Dew? Mmm ... Mountain Dew Shots...

  • At least they could have gotten it right if you need to mix german and english.

    it should have been DER Übergeek ;-)

  • Davo555

    But Final Fantasy VII really WAS the greatest story ever told...

  • tisokan

    Nah it was weak compared to a lot of the older final fantasys before square joined enix

  • FFVII was Square, not Squeenix.

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