We Get It, You Can Video Edit: Seattle Supervillain Issues Second Threat To The City's Fake Superheroes

May 11, 2012


Rex Velvet (who we will now only refer to as Mr. Mustache), Seattle's pretend supervillain hellbent on taking down Phoenix Jones and the rest of his band of misfits (who don't have full-time jobs that prevent them from having the time/energy to run around in costumes at night pretending to be comic book characters) has released another threatening video. This is that video. Listen guys: I've had enough -- from both sides. Here's what you do: I want all you asshats to get together in a public park and beat the shit out each other. And not just until there's only one man standing either, I want zero men standing. And, just to make sure it happens, I plan on fire-bombing the park while all you idiots are going at it. MWAHAHAHAHAHA -- the city will be mine!

Hit the jump for the nobody cares but you.

Thanks to Nathan J. and dorothy, who I promised well-paying henchman/henchwoman positions once the city is in my grasp.

  • Aaron Edgin

    I love the "catch a phoenix with THE DELOREAN!"

  • his_uberness

    the guy behind the mask  works for an ad agency in seattle.. this is for laughs, but it also serves as an example of his work.

  • i like this guy. a lot. at the end of the day he's taking the piss out of the idiots who think they're really superheroes. its fantastic.

    we can't all be snarky bloggers, you know.

  • Donnie Duncanson

    this is so gay - it's like some underhand marketing ploy for an alcohol drink, not to mention the fact that this guy has about as much charisma and punch as a rohypnotised gorilla.... 

  • inconspicuous

    I hope Phoenix Jones pepper sprays this guy in the eye.

  • Thomas Ramsey

    I respect Rex's polished presentation. Top shelf, sir. Top shelf.

  • Thomas Ramsey


  • Max

    This guy, this guy he makes me go ha

  • Omar Cortex

    His super power is eternal virginity.

  • luxlucetintenebris

    What would Fraiser make of all this? lol

  • Brandon

    Where did he film that, Jay Leno's garage?

  • Justice Law

    I take it he likes facial hair.

  • Next step: rob a bank, high society art museum fundraiser, or at least kidnap the D.A.'s daughter and hold her for ransom. You have to make them want to stop you. 

  • Nik Doner

    Phoenix Jones is actually trying to do some good.  I've seen him hand out sandwiches to the homeless and stop a car getting broken into.  Rex Velvet just wants attention.

  • $20465039

    in true supervillain fashion.

    phoenix jones is a self-important douchebag. find his interview on youtube. i couldn't even make it all the way through.

  • Nik Doner

    Definitely not sayin the dude's perfect.  Is he an idiot in some of his videos/interviews?  Oh hell yes.  But I've met the guy several times and seen him doing some great stuff.  Him and his wife have started a fundraising campaign for NW Family Life, a non-profit that provides treatment and counseling for victims of domestic abuse, as well as other services.  I think that's pretty damn cool.  If he is truly is a douche, at least he's a douche doing some good.

  • Benmark

    I want this to be a movie, like a motherfucking movie.

  • jay

    This was more entertaining than all the comic book movies combined.

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