Pew Pew Pew!: Missle Launchers Being Added To London Apartment Rooftops For Added Olympic Security

May 1, 2012


Picture related: Artist's rendition. Mine.

Missiles mean business, especially if you're sitting on top of one pretending it's a penis of mass destruction. And now the U.K. Ministry of Defense has notified some London apartment dwellers that they could be adding missile launchers to the top of their buildings as part of heightened security precautions for the upcoming Olympics. Obviously, some residents aren't too happy about it because they're sissies. Me? I sleep with a knife taped to one hand and a live grenade in the other.

One resident Brian Whelan wasn't too happy to find posters and leaflets priming people about the missile defense launchers:

"They say they'll only use them as a last resort, but... you'd shower debris across the east end of London by firing these missiles."

The Ministry of Defence defended itself by saying that the missiles would only be used to "counter threats from very high performance, low-flying aircraft" and that the location was chosen because it's relatively close to the Olympic Park.

Great, now I want missile launchers on my building. Ol' Brian here is complaining about them, but I'd let you install one ON MY BALCONY and then MAKE ME PAY TO HAVE IT THERE. As long as I can touch it whenever I want you've got yourself a deal. *calling friend* Dude -- you won't believe what the government just installed on my balcony. Come over and bring a hammer!

Thanks to Michelle and troy, who would both be willing to pay upwards of $50/month for automated machine gun sentries on their apartments. Oh f*** yeah.

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