Instant Evil Villain Status: Secret Submarine Base For Sale

May 29, 2012


So Norway has announced that it's selling off Olavsvern Naval Base, a state of the art submarine base on the northern coast of the country for $17.5-million. That means if we each save up $1,750, then it'll only take 10,000 of us to buy the thing. I'm not sure how many it sleeps, but who cares, I'm gonna gas you all as soon as we get there and then it'll all be mine anyway. MWAHAHAHAHA! Are there sharks in Norway?

The property has approximately 13,500 square meters of buildings above ground, about 2500 square meters quay and a real mountain resort of about 25,000 square consisting of among other things:

- Dry dock for submarine / boat
- Workshops
- Office
- Fuel Systems
- Warehouse / repos
- Tunnel System
- Emergency power system

"Among other things?" What the hell kind of other thing are included? I want a FULL LIST. Because if they're "rat infestations" or "ghosts" the deal is OFF. Just kidding, I'll still take it but not for a cent over $61.29. "Your current account balance?" F***ing overdraft fees, man.

Hit the jump for several more shots of the property, including the interior.







Thanks to Fredrik A. F., who promised to go halvsies with me. Um, Fredrik? I'm not even sure I could come up with my share if we went ten-thousandies.

  • ImRight_UCanSayIt

    The asking price is $17.5 Million. If we get it under contract and then wait for hyper inflation to kick in (3-5 years) we'll be able to get it for the equivalent of $32.17 cash today. I can cover that, and will partner with someone who has a submarine.
    P.S. Will not partner with anyone named Osama!

  • Bary Gusey

    They're selling a underground facility near Hønefoss too... Much cheaper.

    FYI: No sharks of any threat in Norway. So you would have to bring your own.

  • Perfect for paintball!

  • This actually makes a lot of sense if we do it as a kick-starter project.... sell a share for 15K for regular or 25K for emerald members (the main difference would be that the emerald members get the office building that has been renovated into condo units) , put an airstrip on site and sub contract out some tour/ fishing boat companies as well. Shares would get you 1 week every other year and charge $500.00 a year in maintenance costs. That leaves 102 Shares in the resort (brick building). Assuming every 2 windows in the brick building is a room and both sides have the same amount of rooms. you get 1.52 million.... Norway is trying to butt-fuck us. the site isn't worth more than 8 million USD unless it can be used as a military instillation.

  • artilleryboy

    If only I had the money i would have bought this place.

  • bourtney

    I'm in. I've been looking for a place to store my submarine, anyways.

  • Ed

    I'm in too, there better be room for two subs.

  • Aaron Fisher

    we each get 1.35 square meters of building. count me in.

  • NassT

    I'm in for 1/10,000th. But someone else has to sign up for internet

  • NassT

    Kickstarter anyone?

  • Philip Gasperowich

    Kickstarter would work for this. Donate so much, and we promise not to gas you.

  • Blackburn Elmo

    Why don't you buy it with us British readers.. that way you'll save money on poison gas.. Please may i have a special non-gas filled room and be your evil PA/butler?

  • TheLonelyBrit

    Bagsy shark tamer!

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