Finally, Because Standing Sucks: The Horizontal Shower

May 17, 2012


This is the Horizontal Shower from luxury bathroomer Dornbracht. You just lay on the stone pedestal like you're about to be sacrificed for a plentiful harvest, then let the six water jets soak your body, flooding your ass with cleanliness and washing away any rogue buttcrumbs like paper boats in a stream. Holy shit I should start writing product descriptions.

The shower comes with a controller they call the eTool, which lets you direct the flow from the various jets, and choose between various programmed patterns kind of like a massage bath. You can also use the eTool to regulate the water temperature and intensity.

Or you could, you know, lay down in a regular shower like I do. Sure it's not as glamorous and way more soap-scummy, but so what? IT'S CHEAP. Plus if you plug the drain with a toe and let the bath fill up your penis will float. Medical fact!

Hit the jump for a couple more pictures and a video which, for a second, I thought was gonna be a softcore porno (and might have been!).




  • eTool huh? So I suppose guys will now have a legitimate excuse for playing with their tool in the shower.

  • Shaun9lives

    This would be great for sessy times.  

    It would be really awkward for house guests, though.  I mean, would you really want to lie naked where you know your friend has lain naked, and almost certainly had sessy times?

  • Jan Brinkerhoff

    perfect for water boarding yourself

  • Nip at 1:30! FTW!

  • Guest

    Ass cheeks should have nipples... 

  • Kittie Peters

    Looks nice and all, but imagine how your water bill will skyrocket! I mean, I already feel bad just taking a 15-20 minute shower or filling up my bath tub... and the rest of the world looks down on us Americans for that alone. 

    That said, nice softcore. At :50 when she tickles her front and you get a nice view of her upper-cootch? Damn yeah.

  • Shaun9lives

    Do you think a person who can afford this is really that concerned with her water bill?

  • Didn't they already do this?  I think it's called a bath, or something like that.  Also, needs more T&A.

  • She'll never get clean like that - she didn't do her front.

  • Kittie Peters

    Naw man, she totally did at the :50 mark!

  • You are so right. I must have been distracted by all the naked wetness.

  • BobbyRooney

    i guess you have to waste a good amount of hot water to warm up the ice cold slab.  i doubt a warm pair of jubblies would want to touch that on a winters day.

  • Does it come with happy ending?

  • I'm a designer, so this seems nice.

    Obviously the only caveat is that you'd need a bathroom the size of GW's apartment in order to accommodate this, along with the standard vertical shower --because you'll eventually need to scrub all the soap, and you can't do that too well lying down.

  • $18922249

    Ah yes, the Robert California model.

  • Emmitt Morgans

     I prefer the original flavor...

  • Guest

    Slipping vertically was an issue with old showers, now you can slip horizontally.

blog comments powered by Disqus
Previous Post
Next Post