Study Suggests Two Beers Makes You Clevererer (I Had 3)

April 13, 2012


Two beers to clever, 40-ounces to freedom.

According to a recent study performed at the University of Illinois, Chicago, drinking around two beers makes you cleverer and more adept at thinking outside the box. *eye-roll* Shocking news, really. I've neeeever come up with anything clever that didn't involve a couple beers. "You've never come up with anything clever, period." So true, so true.

The team found that test subjects with a BAC of .07 (just under legally drink in most states) struggled with attention-intensive trials but excelled at questions that required more flexible thinking. The study found that the drunks not only solved 40 percent more questions than their sober control group, they did so three and a half seconds faster as well--completing their tests in 12 seconds compared to 15.5 for the sobers.

So yeah, drinking two beers makes you cleverer. Twelve beers? Drinking twelve beers makes you me. "What about twenty?" Drinking twenty beers makes me think you might have a problem.

Study: Drinking Two Beers Makes You Clever [gizmodo]

Thanks to Liz, who tried to convince me three vodka cocktails makes her the funniest person on the planet.

  • And vodka makes you the most cleverer!

  • Mighty Molecule, decades of trying to come off as witty while drunk at a pub has conditioned generations to do what, fail at jenga but make terrible spare-of-the-moment jokes?... 

  • artilleryboy

    No. I highly doubt it will make you more clever or in any way boost cognitive abilities but it probably will make some people more open to different options.

  • Sylvain Gagné

    When i take 2 or 3 beer, i'm playing very best on the fps game, really more accurate and speedy. That not joke! With some rum shoot, i'm invincible! lol! ;-)

  • Zane Davis

    I have noticed that there are a few comments interested in the word "cleverer." I am personally interested in this typo:
    "The team found that test subjects with a BAC of .07 (just under legally DRINK in most states)."

  • Robin Manford

    Yeah.  Another fail article.  I may just start looking at the pretty pictures and not bother reading it anymore.

  • $18922249

    To Whom it may concern,

    It would seem that someone has leaked the secret to our unrivaled success... We will not forget this double-cross...

    The Inebriati

  • I've always noticed this with programming. It takes me a bit longer to write code after a beer or two, but it then takes a lot less time to debug and make it work properly, so overall, it is less time-consuming. With three beers, I definitely start hitting diminishing returns.

  • It's 'more clever', not 'cleverer'.

  • Emmitt Morgans

    Actually either would suffice, "cleverer" is actually a word... according to the Mirriam-Webster Dictionary anyway.

    Do with that what you will.

    EDIT: Okay, now I'm not sure because I'm not certain if "cleverer" can be used as a noun.

  • Either way it's an adjective - as is clever.

  • MrFree

    Mr GW, where art thou?

  • Nicholas Kianka

    I noticed the "clevererer", and I've never had a sip of alcohol in my life.

  • Shaun Fernandez


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